033 - A Balm to Burnout: Living in the Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to Grace Among Us, the podcast where we unearth the many faces and places of grace and share stories of the power of grace in our human lives. Our desire is that this will inspire you to see grace in your own life and share it with others.

Carri Richard: 0:21

Hello, hello. My name is Carri Richard. I'm a Mindset Coach. I help high achievers make space and enjoy the ride, and I am doing one of my most favorite things to be here with Ebony Gilbert and talk about grace. So hello, Ebony.

Ebony Gilbert: 0:39

Hello, Carri.

Carri Richard: 0:42

I'm Ebony Gilbert and today's my birthday, happy birthday, yes, yes, I'm so glad you're born.

Ebony Gilbert: 0:54

Me too, because then I wouldn't have had the chance to meet you if I wasn't, and I'd just be a loss to the world. So, good day, good day. How do you want to talk about grace today?

Carri Richard: 1:08

I want to talk. You know, this is the season, we're in the holiday season and, I'll be honest, I'm pretty burnt out right now. Yeah, so, yeah, yeah, and, you know, life is lifey. There's a lot of things going on. I even though I try to be aware of this often as the year ends like there's this unconscious like I got to get all this stuff done before the end of the year, so that pressure builds. Uh, I'm watching people rush around trying to do X, y or Z for the holiday, for this, for that you know, this is grace is always here and we've talked a lot about going and finding grace, and today I kind of want to just talk about..

Carri Richard: 2:14

I want to talk about Matthew 11, 28 and 30. I want to talk about just receiving grace, kind of sitting back and resting. So we've got two versions of it. Let's just go with the Message. It's very topical. So this is Matthew 11, 28 through 30. Are you tired, worn out, burned out on religion? Come to me, get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me. Watch how I do it, learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

Carri Richard: 3:20

(Ebony - That's a big promise) That is a big promise.

Ebony Gilbert: 3:26

And he doesn't lie.

Carri Richard: 3:27

Mm-mm. You know it really, as as those words I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you - like all of the urgency that's going on is of my own making. You know that, that concept of trying to fit it all in. So I'm going to be quiet for a minute and see what you've got.

Ebony Gilbert: 4:02

Before you even read the verse when you were talking about. You're feeling a little worn out, so craziest thing is happening. I always get sickly around the holidays and I can't figure out why, because I don't feel stressed, but my body is saying to me we don't like this time of year. So it's preemptively doing strange things, and that's often my doctor about this. Your body can get a version of PTSD, where it remembers how stressed you are during a certain season and it will begin to behave in a cyclical fashion just because it's being your norm. So even when you're trying to come out of that pattern, your body will do what it thinks it's supposed to do, which is heighten your immune response and do all kinds of strange things.

Ebony Gilbert: 4:57

So in reading this, a real rest to me feels like a physical rest. So it's not just I'm going to walk away feeling lighter or feeling better, you know, like my emotional, my psychological, my mental state. No, a real rest to me speaks to the physical condition of my body. So there's no longer a conflict between what I'm telling myself, this mindfulness, this intentionality, and what my body is saying. That part really speaks to me. There are a couple of parts in that verse that really speaks to me. But that part considering that I'm congested done nothing to be congested, you know, considering that I've got the aches and pains in my body is saying things that I don't agree with. I'd like to tap into the real rest to put my physical state at ease, as I believe was being said in this verse.

Carri Richard: 5:58

(Ebony Does that make sense?) It makes, it makes total sense. And my, my prayer for you is that that real rest is not only the physical rest that you talk about, the mental, emotional, all of the rest, but also a rest to that cycle, because that's what He can do.

Ebony Gilbert: 6:24

Yeah, that's, that's exactly where my mind is. And if you want to take it broader, oftentimes our environment, the physical stuff, the environment, the space you're in, the things we think we can't control yeah, I think we can. I think we can. We can definitely show up in a way that what we speak and what we believe dictates how we react and how those things react to us.

Carri Richard: 6:59

You are so right. You know, both from the words we speak and what we allow in. Like, if I want to turn on the news 24 by seven, I'm going to get a much different environment internally and externally than if I, you know, spend that time on other avenues, like being here with you and talking about the subject.

Ebony Gilbert: 7:31

So if we're learning the unforced rhythms of grace, we're letting it happen if it's unforced.

Carri Richard: 7:40

Right, but we've got to slow down to let it happen, yeah because I don't have to Tell myself to breathe.

Ebony Gilbert: 7:49

It's unforced, it's automatic.

Ebony Gilbert: 7:52

Right, I don't have to tell myself to blink. It's going to happen. So when I think of unforced rhythms of grace, I'm thinking of those automatic things that occur If we walk with him and work with him and watch how he does it. That's the sentence before. And then I had this other. Have you seen these videos of these babies? They're little, they're tiny little, something like one and two, and they dance. No music comes on. Oh, and they're like and they're like and they have rhythm, you know, and it's like. Who taught this kid to two step? Yeah, you know, it's unforced, it's just in them.

Carri Richard: 8:36

That's it. That's it, yes, exactly, and that's what's in us too, boom.

Ebony Gilbert: 8:43

And they don't know to be ashamed, they don't know to fight it, they don't know any of these things. They don't know that it's strange or weird or people are looking at them funny. They don't care, right, they're channeling what's in them and it comes out and it produces joy, not just for them but for everybody around them. It's contagious.

Carri Richard: 9:05

And you know why it's contagious? Because, you see, it reflects what's in you that we may not either allow, or we got all this other stuff on top of it, like it. It wakes that up.

Ebony Gilbert: 9:22

So if grace is the baby rhythm, you know where the moment. So if the music is making the baby do this and it's channeling the thing in them, the grace is the thing inside of us, and whatever we're going through is awakening that thing in us. Yes, and then we get to move in this grace, we get to operate in this grace, and it's unforced. That's what I'm seeing in my head. I love it Now you gotta go look up some baby dancing videos.

Carri Richard: 9:58

Okay, I will, and that's a great input. Right, that's something I want to put in my environment. I heard the other day I don't know where it came from, I can't quote it but I heard environment wins over willpower. Do you believe that? You know, I think over time it does. I really think environment has a lot to do with it.

Ebony Gilbert: 10:30

In general, do you change our surroundings?

Carri Richard: 10:33

Well, I think it's talking to the point that you were saying of being conscious about our environment, right, it doesn't mean we've got to blow everything up and change everything, but look at what you allow in, look at what's coming out of your mouth. It's just a conscious. It says watch how I do it.

Ebony Gilbert: 10:55

It also says get away with me and you'll recover your life.

Carri Richard: 10:58

Sometimes you gotta get away. I love that and it's keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. And I'll tell you. I got a quick grace story. So I had you know, I get my skin checked and they saw some funny freckle that looked normal to me and they did a biopsy. And you know, I have my little app on my phone so I get the pathology report before I talk to the doctor, which can be dangerous because I don't understand all that's going on and I'm going to start Google land if I'm not careful. And it said invasive melanoma and I was like, well, that's pretty clear that that is not good. Right, I got it at the end of the week.

Carri Richard: 11:44

So I talked to you know, I got it at the end of the week, so it was like, okay, wait a second, there is nothing I can do about this right now. So I'm going to come away, I'm going to give it to God and I'm going to go about my business, and I know that the beginning of next week I'm going to know more. And right now I got to, I got to give it up, so it kind of stuck. So I did the next thing, which was I asked for prayers. I reached out to people look, this is heavy on me and so I'm going to share it and ask you to pray. And I had. I did have a specific prayer for God. This time I said look, can we please move through this swiftly, because my son is having a major surgery very soon and I really, you know, can. Can you help me here?

Ebony Gilbert: 12:43

I don't have time for this.

Carri Richard: 12:45

Well, I tried to - I tried to be graceful about it, but it was like you know, "an you do me a solid here, and if you can't, it's okay. So Monday I talked to my doctor. She said you got to have surgery, they're going to - the schedulers, are going to call you. So I reached out for some other prayers and I specifically said I'm really, I'm hopeful I can get this addressed before the 4th of December. And the scheduler called on Wednesday and I said the same thing to them and they said "you hold on, wait a second, like in that moment. Hold on, we just had a cancellation. Can you come tomorrow? (Ebony Has this

Ebony Gilbert: 13:36

ever happened before?

Carri Richard: 13:38

Not like that, not for this reason. I mean, medically has this happened before?

Ebony Gilbert: 13:43

Like the lineup of this immediate urgency.

Carri Richard: 13:48

I don't know - that clearly, no, no.

Ebony Gilbert: 13:53

And how did you feel when you were being this specific in your prayer?

Carri Richard: 13:57

I felt a little. I felt a little anxious, like am I allowed? I really wanted permission Like am I overstepping? Yeah, and that's why it was like I had the disclaimer hey, God, if you can't do me this, that's okay, it's all right. But yeah, and so I went the next day and I'll tell you what so very grateful that I didn't have time to think about it, because it was more than I expected. And it was - I was on the moving walk, right, I was being moved along.

Ebony Gilbert: 14:41

I ask you the question about you know how did you feel when you're making that request? Sometimes I struggle with the specificity of what I'm wanting to ask and I have to remind myself and remind you and everybody else that the Bible says in Philippians 4 and 6, be anxious for nothing and in everything, with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving. So you prayed, you were humble, you were grateful. Make your request known to God.

Carri Richard: 15:13

Yeah, thank you.

Ebony Gilbert: 15:14

You gotta tell him, yeah, Not that he doesn't already know. He just wants you to talk to him and I'm so glad you did.

Carri Richard: 15:23

Me too. So I found out two days ago. The stitches came out, it's all gone. I am cancer free. So, from start to finish, From start to finish, it was two weeks - 14 days.

Ebony Gilbert: 15:38

What the what, Huh? What the what (Carri - Exactly) They found it, diagnosed it removed, it biopsied it again the stitches are out.

Carri Richard: 15:50

I just got a nice patch. I got a story to tell.

Ebony Gilbert: 15:54

And you needed this done by December 4th.

Speaker 1: 15:56

Yes.

Ebony Gilbert: 15:57

Yep, which is Monday. That's correct, yeah, and a little grace period in there.

Speaker 1: 16:05

Exactly Grace period.

Carri Richard: 16:06

Thank you.

Ebony Gilbert: 16:07

In air quotes. Yeah, pun intended to have a little cushion. Absolutely, wow. Unforced rhythms of grace.

Carri Richard: 16:22

And I won't lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you.

Ebony Gilbert: 16:31

Do you feel free and lighter? Absolutely.

Carri Richard: 16:35

Absolutely. I just feel so. I feel so very grateful for so many things. I feel grateful that I'm in a place where I take care of myself, where I get checked. You know that I have a healthy body that heals swiftly, that I really didn't have time to think about it. Dwell on it, get in it. That is grace Big time for me.

Ebony Gilbert: 17:07

Tell you about something that happened this week and I'm going to tie it all together. I was meeting with some of my coworkers and we were discussing performance of our staff and things of that sort, and one of the newer guys the team. He was describing this one employee and he says his exact words were she is a freight train, she gets keep listening, because I took that immediate statement, as what does that mean? He said she is a freight train, she can carry a lot of weight and she just goes at full speed and never skips a beat until there's a pebble on the track. And because she's going so quickly and at such force and carrying so much weight that one pebble can create a massive accident. And I was listening to him thinking oh, that's so good. I'm going to talk about this on the podcast, because the pebbles of life can derail us literally. In his example, that one freckle that looked normal to you was a pebble and it could have very easily, very easily derailed.

Ebony Gilbert: 18:27

Very easily and I'm like seeing a picture of a train on the track and there's always rocks underneath the tracks. Right, you're surrounded by pebbles on the railroad track. We used to run along the railroad tracks and you always got home with rocks in your shoes because they're full of pebbles. So I'm seeing this train on these tracks and these rocks and these pebbles everywhere. But the train has a track and it has ordered steps right, right, and I feel like grace keeps the pebble from getting on the track. You know, it keeps you in line with the direction you're supposed to be going and even if one little pebble gets on the track, grace kind of moves it out the way Swiftly If we're going Swiftly.

Ebony Gilbert: 19:16

Swiftly. It doesn't remove the environment of pebbles. It doesn't clean up everything around you that's rocky and usually in the woods, but there's still a track and I just feel like your situation could have been a pebble on your track.

Carri Richard: 19:34

It could have been a small boulder.

Ebony Gilbert: 19:37

Yeah, it could have derailed a lot of things. It could have derailed your schedule for what you needed to do for your son. It could have derailed your faith. There could have been so many derailings and typically when a train derails, there is major catastrophic impact, so it takes a long time to clean up.

Carri Richard: 19:56

Yeah.

Ebony Gilbert: 19:58

So thank you, Carri, for sharing your story and thank you, God, for grace Amen.

Carri Richard: 20:04

To deal with the pebbles. Absolutely, because I and if I had taken it all upon myself, right To do it myself without I think one of the biggest shifts was I immediately reached out and shared it Immediately.

Ebony Gilbert: 20:25

Yeah, who are my prayer warriors? Who are my supporters? Where is the Carri Fan Club and how can we come help?

Carri Richard: 20:32

Yeah, and it's like this is what I know. This is what I'm praying for. Can you pray for me?

Ebony Gilbert: 20:38

And instead of you needing a cleanup crew after the fact, you just kept going on your track.

Carri Richard: 20:46

Yeah.

Ebony Gilbert: 20:49

Now just to make sure you're okay. Right, I am, I am. No one will lose that.

Carri Richard: 20:54

Yes.

Speaker 1: 20:55

No.

Carri Richard: 20:55

I am okay, it is all clear. I got the all clear. Two weeks to the day, yeah.

Ebony Gilbert: 21:03

Outstanding, yes, outstanding. What if we approach all of that stuff? This does Pebbles.

Carri Richard: 21:10

Exactly.

Ebony Gilbert: 21:11

And we get to make a choice.

Carri Richard: 21:13

Yeah.

Ebony Gilbert: 21:16

Because a cancer diagnosis is not a pebble. Let's be clear. But what if our perspective and our vantage point and, with our grace glasses on, we viewed all these things as a pebble, as the pebble on my track?

Carri Richard: 21:32

Yeah.

Ebony Gilbert: 21:33

But I've got to keep going. I've got to do the things I know I can do and I've got to keep my steps ordered For you, it was I need to ask for help, I need support, I need some angels, I need some folks praying, I need some belief. I've got to ask if I can open my mouth and speak it and look at what happened? Yeah, that's good Carri.

Carri Richard: 21:58

You know when we ask for help and I encourage anybody who's listening please, you can ask us, you can. You can reach out to us if you need, if you need prayers. When I do that, I'm accountable, that I am actually putting it in God's hands and saying can you please bring the broom?

Ebony Gilbert: 22:29

Hey God, I need a grace Rumba. Oh my gosh To just swirl around me and pick up all the pebbles as I'm walking through this thing called life. Just where's my little automated vacuum robot? Yeah, it just goes around me and gets in front of me and mercy and goodness is following me. So that little rhombus behind me and everything I had in me is being protected with my little grace. Robot is picking up my pebbles along the way.

Carri Richard: 22:54

Yes, I just want to say one more thing. When you're talking about that, I now want to build that image so bad of a rhombus with, like grace glasses on Uh-huh, oh my goodness, but you put little words on the pebbles.

Ebony Gilbert: 23:09

You know this money, friends job. It is picking up these little things. Okay.

Carri Richard: 23:19

We're on it. Next time I see you, we're making a movie. Yes, the unforced rhythms of grace. So I just want to say one last thing that there's so much when I when I got to the point where I wanted to look back over my shoulder and see if God was helping me. That's where I have to just keep moving forward. It's that unforced rhythm Like it happened very swiftly, um, but I can't check up on him along the way, Cause when I do that, I'm doubting. Does that make sense?

Ebony Gilbert: 24:02

No, it does make sense. It makes perfect sense. Keep your head ahead and stay looking forward and then bring that back around.

Carri Richard: 24:13

That's part of that rest. It's like, okay, I've, I've, I've put it in God's hands, and now I need to give that topic a rest.

Ebony Gilbert: 24:28

That's good. That's good. That's good. Unforced rhythm, rhythms plural of grace.

Carri Richard: 24:48

Rhythms it's not always a two, four count, or a four, four count, but it's in cadence.

Ebony Gilbert: 24:54

There's multiple going on all the time, but it has a cadence. Yeah, opposed to move, I do this thing. Where I listen to songs sometimes and I speed them up, where I slow them down just to play with it, I do it to our podcast. Where I listen back to it, I speed it up to the 1.5. Generally because I'm in a rush and I need to take that 25 minutes and shrink it down some. Um, but the cadence of when you speed it up or you slow it down changes a lot of things. Yeah, it changes a lot of things. Sometimes you miss a word. Sometimes your pauses that are intentional get, you know, weird. So I've I've learned to not do that if I don't have to do it, you know, just wait till I have the time to really fully listen, because if you force the rhythm you miss things.

Carri Richard: 25:50

Yeah.

Ebony Gilbert: 25:51

It doesn't have the same meaning. So the unforced rhythms of grace allows me to be fully pressing, so I don't miss anything by trying to speed up the rhythm or trying to hurry it or rush it or slow it down, because I'm looking over my shoulder trying to check him and God to see if he's going to pass me the baton. I don't need the baton.

Carri Richard: 26:12

And if I do, he'll make it completely clear in the moment. He'll do it. Here you go, honey.

Ebony Gilbert: 26:19

I don't just have to stand there with my hand out waiting for him to. You know, he's got all of that in control. Thank you so much for sharing. Oh my gosh you're so welcome.

Carri Richard: 26:28

Thank you so much for the beautiful conversation for for all those listening. My prayer for you is that in this season, that you find some rest, whatever that looks like.

Ebony Gilbert: 26:45

So that you can live freely and lightly. Yeah, that's good. So we have dancing babies, we have the room, but robotic vacuums with grace glasses. We have trains with pebbles. As you're driving down the street, look for any of these things. I think about us. Oh, that's good. Happy holiday season, yes.

Carri Richard: 27:14

Happy holiday season, and this was fun, as always let's do it again.

Ebony Gilbert: 27:22

Okay, grace out, grace out.

Speaker 1: 27:27

Thank you so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode, please let us know. We love to hear from you and share it with a friend. Also, please be sure to subscribe so you're notified when a new episode is posted. We hope you're leaving with another pointer to grace, a new perspective that will light it up in your own life. Until next time, be well, be bold, be kind to yourself and be on the lookout.