07 - Can you keep Grace a Secret?

[00:00:00.570] - Ebony Gilbert

Thank you.

[00:00:03.170] - Carri Adcock

Welcome to Grace Among US, the podcast where we unearth the many faces and places of grace and share stories of the power of grace in our human lives. Our desire is that this will inspire you to see grace in your own life and share it with others. My name is Carri Adcock. I'm a mentor with a past passion for showing high achievers how to make space and enjoy the ride so that they can make the impact that their heart desires, with their life back.

[00:00:36.570] - Ebony Gilbert

Hey, Carri. My name is Ebony Gilbert. I am a good friend of Carri Adcock and I am here along with Carri to discuss grace today. In my normal day to day work, I work in the healthcare industry and in my spare time, I hang out with Carri and talk to you guys about grace.

[00:00:57.970] - Carri Adcock

Yes, and here we go.

[00:01:00.000] - Ebony Gilbert

Here we go.

[00:01:00.760] - Carri Adcock

Ebony, it is good to be here with you today.

[00:01:04.480] - Ebony Gilbert

Likewise.

[00:01:07.990] - Carri Adcock

And it is really good to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And I know it's also dear to your heart. I know you know a thing or two about grace, that's for sure.

[00:01:29.180] - Ebony Gilbert

Just a little bit.

[00:01:34.910] - Carri Adcock

Why is grace so important?

[00:01:42.770] - Ebony Gilbert

When I think about the things that are important to me, including grace, I think, what would my life be like without it? So I think about the people that are important to me and I can't imagine my life without them. There's no before them, even the people. For example, I can't imagine my life without Carri Adcock. Carri is important to me, even though I've only known Carri for not the majority of my life at all. But I can't imagine going back to that state without it. So once I discovered it, that's when I knew how important it was. Because I can't imagine living in a world, in an existence without it. It's almost like evolution. I've evolved into a state of being where I have to have it. It's as essential as oxygen because it's the hope in the middle of the crisis, no matter how bad I mess up, it's going to show up and be there for me. It's the love. It's the love of God that looks beyond all of my flaws and my faults. It's the thing that keeps me from being bona fide crazy and sinking into my own sins and pity and trouble.

[00:03:08.050] - Ebony Gilbert

So it's important to me because it keeps me grounded, that keeps me from going under the ground, if that makes any sense. It keeps my feet planted without them sinking, even though I'm walking through quicksand on any given day. It saves me.

[00:03:28.370] - Carri Adcock

Yeah.

[00:03:29.090] - Ebony Gilbert

And that's a daily renewing, a daily need. It's not a one time and done kind of thing. I only tap into it on Sundays, every single day. I need it to continue to smile, to continue to be kind, to keep my heart tender. Because there's enough going on in the world any given day there's enough going on in my life in any given day to become jaded and dark. And grace brings the light It flips the light on when all other power sources are shorting out. When I was a kid, I lived in Florida, and we had a lot of storms and the lights would go out all the time. That was before people had underground lines and all that good stuff. And the lights would go out for a long time, not just a few minutes. And we had these kerosene lamps, but it took a while to light that kerosene lamp. This was not a flashlight. This is a lamp. You had to get a wick and pull it out. And you have to do all the stuff in the dark. And I would be scared to death until that light came on.

[00:04:33.770] - Ebony Gilbert

And then when that light came on, I could see that my father was in the room with me and that my mother was sitting there and there was a light. And I felt protected and safe in that moment. Grace is my kerosene lamp. When the world is dark and the room is dark and I can't see. And when that Grace shows up, then I can see my heavenly Father, then I can see everybody else in the room who make me feel a little bit more comforted. It's the light. It's the kerosene lamp. And I need that.

[00:05:06.050] - Carri Adcock

I hear you. Yeah. So much. The first thing I heard is, you can't unsee it. You cannot unsee this. So when you see Grace working in your life or you see it show up, who'd want to go back?

[00:05:28.410] - Ebony Gilbert

Why?

[00:05:29.450] - Carri Adcock

Yeah.

[00:05:31.290] - Ebony Gilbert

For what?

[00:05:32.650] - Carri Adcock

Yeah, exactly. So for those who have seen Grace before, are familiar with Grace, like, just be open. And for those who are who may be listening to this and saying, I have no idea what they're talking about, just please stay, stick around. Because my hope is that we're going to point to it in many different ways. And one of those ways is going to become real clear. It's going to hit.

[00:06:13.110] - Ebony Gilbert

Why is it important to you?

[00:06:15.370] - Carri Adcock

Oh, my gosh. I have a lot of the same answer, and I think we've talked about it on previous podcasts. I've had experiences in my life that just you talked about being underground. I kind of wanted to dig a hole and put myself in there. I didn't know how to. It was things were happening that I had no control over, but just seemed like the end of the world. And I know today, without Grace, without this idea and not even idea, this full belief that there are things bigger than me that are working in my life, without that, I don't know that. And this may sound dramatic, but I believe it's true for me. I don't know if I'd still be here, to be honest. It saves it absolutely does.

[00:07:16.940] - Ebony Gilbert

Yeah.

[00:07:19.390] - Carri Adcock

It absolutely does. And there's also this maybe it's empowerment there's. Like, I'm empowered to step out into things that still terrify me because I know that I'm not alone in the process. For example, what we're doing right now, showing up and talking about a topic that for some is very easy to speak about, for others, it's a topic where people can go one way or the other on. And it also requires me sharing something about myself to talk about the grace in my life. And those kind of things wouldn't happen without grace. I hope that answered the question.

[00:08:29.430] - Ebony Gilbert

That totally is that last part absolutely resonated with me. In order to have this podcast, in order for us to have this conversation, we have to show up in a way that makes us vulnerable, to show up in a way that says, hey, be transparent about the worst part of your day, because that's when grace really shows up big, right? In order to have something saving the day, you got to have a situation that requires saving. So we have to talk about those things. And I think our purpose here is to let everyone know we all have those moments. The moment is going to come whether you acknowledge grace or not. Grace allows you to shift your perspective. It allows you to have a little bit of hope. And it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be stand on the mountaintop and scream it or do a podcast every week. It does not have to be big. It can be just a little bit, just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit. And it gives you enough hope to get to the next day, because I don't have to worry about tomorrow. There's enough happening today.

[00:09:35.430] - Ebony Gilbert

So if grace shows up today, I'm good. And then when tomorrow shows up, I'll do it tomorrow, and grace will show up for tomorrow. But that vulnerability, that transparency, that opening of yourself, that's -  to me, that's not possible. It would not be possible. I wouldn't even want to do it. There would be no desire to do it without the cherry of grace. That's the whipped cream. I need that.

[00:10:09.860] - Carri Adcock

Well, I have an example of that.

[00:10:12.500] - Ebony Gilbert

Let's hear it.

[00:10:13.780] - Carri Adcock

Okay, so gosh. 15 years ago.

[00:10:23.080] - Ebony Gilbert

15 years ago, you were ten.

[00:10:26.840] - Carri Adcock

You are so sweet. Nice job. Nice job. I was like, what's she talking about?

[00:10:33.900] - Ebony Gilbert

I got to do because we're all 25 here, right?

[00:10:36.410] - Carri Adcock

Yeah, I'm 25 plus 25. Thank you very much. I'm 25 squared. Well, not really. Okay. Probably about 15 years ago, I was in a situation where I had, I have a son and his father and I - it was not working out. It was not working out. And we were kind of at polar opposites, for whatever reason, and it ended up going to court, and there were accusations that I was an unfit mother, because I think I've spoken about this, actually, I did go into a psychiatric hospital for a short time. And I'll have to tell you, that is like, one of the most terrifying things that can happen to somebody, especially when you're in a position where you don't feel unfit, your actions aren't unfit, and you're doing a lot of ... Anyway... And so in the state where this happened in juvenile court, you did not have to share psychiatric records. They were protected. And for all these things that were happening, it was ramping up and up and up and up. And I got on my knees and ...What I was challenged, I don't even know if that's the right word, challenged to just put it on the table, Carri.

[00:12:29.580] - Carri Adcock

Put it all on the table. And so I waived my rights and I opened everything up.

[00:12:40.740] - Ebony Gilbert

Wow.

[00:12:43.620] - Carri Adcock

And the purpose of that was to trust that the situation I was in at that time was bigger than me. It was absolutely bigger than me. And so even to this day, it doesn't have to be like that. It can be me. It can be any size. Any size? I was going to say stubbing my toe, but Grace doesn't care about the size. But it's this idea of, okay, this is bigger than me. And you know what, Ebony? Almost everything's bigger than me.

[00:13:31.860] - Ebony Gilbert

Yeah.

[00:13:32.710] - Carri Adcock

Everything except my attitude is probably bigger than me. And I am here to report that Grace did show up and things did. I believe that without opening everything up, it might have gone a different way.

[00:13:54.940] - Ebony Gilbert

Could you put your heart on the line?

[00:13:57.180] - Carri Adcock

Everything on the line. Yeah.

[00:14:02.700] - Ebony Gilbert

Well, if you had not got on your knees because you're not informing God of anything he knows.

[00:14:12.150] - Carri Adcock

Yeah.

[00:14:12.820] - Ebony Gilbert

You're inviting him into your situation when you pray.

[00:14:16.120] - Carri Adcock

Absolutely.

[00:14:16.870] - Ebony Gilbert

It's not to alert Him or give Him notice.

[00:14:20.180] - Carri Adcock

The big red phone.

[00:14:22.100] - Ebony Gilbert

Hey, God, just wanted to let you know I'm having some problems down here. No, it's more of a could you come join me?

[00:14:31.350] - Carri Adcock

Yeah.

[00:14:32.170] - Ebony Gilbert

I'm inviting you into this situation that's so much bigger than me. If you hadn't got on your knees, do you think that outcome would have been the same?

[00:14:39.920] - Carri Adcock

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. 1000%.

[00:14:47.440] - Ebony Gilbert

And just to be clear, when you say you got on your knees, I want to make any assumptions here. You were praying.

[00:14:55.540] - Carri Adcock

Absolutely. I will tell you I got on my knees, and I did not want to. And I was encouraged, and it took time. It was not like how I can speak about it now, but at the time, even speaking about it, in the process for a while, I got on my knees and it was like, you know what, God? If you want me to lose this child, if that is your will, then okay. But if that is not your will, come on. It probably took me 20 minutes to get through that. And I do know that it shifted everything.

[00:15:48.380] - Ebony Gilbert

That's a hard situation. Sometimes in those moments, I don't have the words. All I can say is, Jesus, he knows the words. Like, if I just call your name, you'll read the rest through the skin and through the tears and everything else, and you'll hear my heart. So 20 minutes to get those words out is an accomplishment, because sometimes the words don't come. Yeah, it's just here's my posture. Here's my posture of submission and vulnerability and humility, and I need help. I need help. I can't do it by myself. It's bigger than me. The forces that are against me are bigger than anything I can control, anything I ever thought I can control, because I probably wasn't even controlling it when I thought I was. And Grace shows up. It shows up, but it requires that moment of discomfort for me. It showed up in disease, in physical disease. I heard something interesting, which seems pretty basic now that I say it out loud, but it was fascinating to me when I heard it. Disease is the same as disease. So when there's disease happening in your life, it can manifest in a variety of ways.

[00:17:15.660] - Ebony Gilbert

When it physically manifests, it shows that that's disease and that disease, that discomfort, that shaking of your spirit, you just don't feel the same. It brings something out in you where you get desperate. And I think God appreciates our desperation because sometimes we don't know to call on Him. And when we doing good I got this.

[00:17:41.630] - Carri Adcock

I got it.

[00:17:44.480] - Ebony Gilbert

I forgot to pray today because it was a good day. When that disease, that discomfort, that thing that shakes you, you're unfit, and it rocks you to your core. That's that moment when you invite God in and you say, hey, hey, buddy. Hey, big guy. If it's your will, I'll go with it. But if it's not, give me some weapons. 

[00:18:16.560] - Carri Adcock

Yes, and swiftly, please and thank you. They can come from everywhere. Anywhere and everywhere. That's the other piece you just reminded me the other piece is, I invite God in, but I got to have eyes wide open because I can pigeonhole that. I'm not really inviting him in if I'm telling him how to show up.

[00:18:47.320] - Ebony Gilbert

Right.

[00:18:50.280] - Carri Adcock

I get stuck in that. Let me give you my project plan.

[00:18:56.680] - Ebony Gilbert

Because I want my solution to look like this outline.

[00:18:59.600] - Carri Adcock

Yeah. And if I don't see it happening, then I'm going to pull it back and I'm going to do it again. And usually that's where the gift of desperation for me really starts to ramp up.

[00:19:14.060] - Ebony Gilbert

The gift of desperation. We should tag that. The gift of desperation.

[00:19:18.960] - Carri Adcock

Yeah.

[00:19:20.400] - Ebony Gilbert

That's beautiful. Don't know if I've ever put those words together. Carri, thank you very much.

[00:19:26.230] - Carri Adcock

You're welcome.

[00:19:27.140] - Ebony Gilbert

The gift of desperation. Wow. Thanks for sharing that.

[00:19:32.180] - Carri Adcock

Yeah, absolutely. Here's another beautiful thing about Grace, is the more I see Grace, the less I need to protect myself.

[00:19:49.670] - Ebony Gilbert

Say more.

[00:19:54.010] - Carri Adcock

If it wasn't for Grace, that story would have never come out of my mouth.

[00:20:00.730] - Ebony Gilbert

Oh, okay. So it's still working?

[00:20:08.030] - Carri Adcock

Oh, yeah. Grace doesn't have a timeline.

[00:20:12.430] - Ebony Gilbert

There's no statue of limitation.

[00:20:14.260] - Carri Adcock

No.

[00:20:21.170] - Ebony Gilbert

That'S good. Yeah. One of the things you and I talked about when we first decided to do this podcast, like, I'm going to have to tell people my business. You want me to tell people my hurt-y parts?

[00:20:41.030] - Carri Adcock

Oh, I like that. Hashtag hurt-y parts.

[00:20:44.460] - Ebony Gilbert

Hurt-y parts. I don't want to talk about my hurt-y parts. But you're right. Grace covers you in a way that you don't have to be concerned about, that you don't have to worry about how this goes out and how it's going to come back at you, because Grace protects it, because we're not talking about this stuff. You're not trying to get credit for being a great mom. I'm not trying to get credit for getting through life's troubles. This is all about giving credit to where credit is due, and that all goes upwards. That all goes to God. So I think when you show up in that vulnerable way with this level of transparency, where you can say those things you just said with a straight face and flat footed, and you could do it knowing that this is about giving credit to the one and only who's the all time provider of grace, you don't have to worry about that. I don't know if I've ever thought about it that way. That's what's happening. But to articulate it and put it into words, that's the comfort.

[00:21:49.710] - Carri Adcock

Absolutely.

[00:21:54.590] - Ebony Gilbert

That's the piece. Beyond understanding. Because it logically. It doesn't make sense.

[00:21:58.750] - Carri Adcock

That's the beyond understanding. I like that. Yeah, you're absolutely right.

[00:22:03.410] - Ebony Gilbert

There's no rational reason to tell people the stuff that hurt you the most.

[00:22:07.650] - Carri Adcock

No, there isn't. Why would you do that? Why would you even think of it again? Why would you blah, blah, blah.

[00:22:13.930] - Ebony Gilbert

Put it out of your mind, you got over it, it's done. Move on.

[00:22:17.110] - Carri Adcock

Absolutely. Put it in a box.

[00:22:19.670] - Ebony Gilbert

Well, who does that help?

[00:22:22.940] - Carri Adcock

It doesn't help anybody. And it's not that I walk around and ruminate on it, but it's a tool. It's an arrow in my quiver. It's not a rock in my backpack anymore.

[00:22:41.500] - Ebony Gilbert

Not weighing you down.

[00:22:43.010] - Carri Adcock

No. And there's the other one. That's what Grace does. Lightens your load, turns it into an asset.

[00:22:53.100] - Ebony Gilbert

I wear backpacks a lot.

[00:22:55.200] - Carri Adcock

Do you?

[00:22:55.820] - Ebony Gilbert

That person in the airport with a really nice backpack, I imagine.

[00:23:00.790] - Carri Adcock

You're not carrying rocks in it, are you?

[00:23:05.460] - Ebony Gilbert

Listen, it looks big and heavy. It's probably only got my headphones in it because I'm not carrying that stuff. Proverbially and literally, I'm not carrying that stuff. Yeah, grace has removed that.

[00:23:20.360] - Carri Adcock

Yeah, it does more... There was a time in my life where I thought Grace would, like, get me out of something. Right. Just get me out of this situation. And Grace can move things to resolve situations, even if the resolution isn't what I want but it's so much bigger. It does more than that. Like you said, it lightens the load. It will touch other people in some way, shape or form that you have no idea.

[00:24:03.250] - Ebony Gilbert

If you open your mouth.

[00:24:04.380] - Carri Adcock

If you speak it, yes, if you speak it. So do you think Grace can be a secret?

[00:24:24.970] - Ebony Gilbert

I think it can be, but I think it takes away from the full effect. In order for Grace to have its perfect work, in order for it to do what it's intended to do, in order for it to connect and tie back to the source, you've got to speak it now, all things in decent and in order, there's a time and a place for that. You're not going to go into a daycare and talk about the worst parts of your life. So there's a time and a place for all things. I'm not going to get up at a party and have these discussions. But I think when the moment presents itself, you know it's time to speak. We've all had that moment, either with strangers or people, you know, and it drops in your spirit and it's on your mind. You're like, I need to say this. I need to say this. I know I need to say this. And you don't want to. Everything in you is fighting against it, but you know, you have to say it. I think those are the moments where we're compelled to either keep it a secret because we've received the benefit of it to our knowledge.

[00:25:37.880] - Ebony Gilbert

Right. Or you can speak it and let it continue to do its work. So you went to that situation, grace showed up, you could have closed the book, done, story over. Thank you, God. Grace is here. Say grace. Let's go home. Or 15 years later, you could be holding a podcast on Grace and you can share your story that touches and blesses someone else, and Grace shows up again and you get a double heavy. And it continues to do its work. I think in order for it to continue to do its work, because its lifespan is evergreen, there's no limitation on it. I think we do ourselves and others a disservice by keeping it a secret. And I'd go a step further. I don't know if God gets offended or if he's ever insulted. I think he is. I think some things we do offend him. I think so. I feel that way. Personal belief. I think it offends him when he shows up in such a mighty way and we don't tell nobody. Yeah, it's like getting the greatest gift ever and not saying thank you or having the best thing ever and never sharing it.

[00:27:03.850] - Ebony Gilbert

So I feel a sense of obligation initially to share it, but then it becomes a joy because I'm reminded of the hope that I got out of that situation. You can be reminded of no matter how bad today is, you can be reminded that you went through something worse and you got through. And sometimes you need that own reminder to encourage yourself and it comes out while you're encouraging someone else. So long answer. Can it be a secret? It can if you want to sell yourself short, possibly ascend the big guy, or we can operate in service to others and try to lend a hand by sharing.

[00:27:51.610] - Carri Adcock

Absolutely. But I think I love it. As you're speaking. You're so clear on as you were speaking. The image that came to mind is like when you share it, when you speak it, it's like dropping a rock. I got rocks on the mind. I don't know why. I'm going to find out though. They keep coming up, so stay tuned. I'll have a story at some point. But you drop a rock in a body of water, just a calm body of water. So you drop this rock and it ripples out. Ripples out, ripples out. Which is what Grace does. Like, look at what happened. And everybody who needs to gets touched by it totally out of our control. So to have this thing happen and keep it a secret, it's like dropping the rock and then like trying to get around it and stop the ripples. I mean, that's wasted effort, people. It's like holding I don't know how you sneeze. I don't know if I've ever heard you sneeze. Maybe I have. It hasn't stuck with me anyway. But when I sneeze, there's no holding back. I have somebody who is related to me who, when they sneeze, they go and if I did that, my eyeballs would blow out of my head, my ears would pop.

[00:29:25.210] - Carri Adcock

And so it's kind of that idea too. It's like, what am I doing to myself by holding it in?

[00:29:38.060] - Ebony Gilbert

Yeah, what's happening? Come on.

[00:29:41.520] - Carri Adcock

It's so juicy. You got to share it.

[00:29:44.860] - Ebony Gilbert

I got to tell you how this thing turned in my favor. I got to tell you how this thing didn't make sense, how I wasn't sleeping and I was losing my mind and I couldn't tell anybody. And then it showed up. And now I want to tell everyone because I want you to know that when you have that dark moment at 03:00 a.m., and when you're standing outside in your backyard at 630 in the morning praying to God to show up, if he did it for me, he'll do it for you.

[00:30:11.160] - Carri Adcock

And that is exactly it. If you can see grace in my life, if you can see the grace happening in my life or grace shown up in my life, it has to mean that it can show up in yours. You cannot see something in another's life that is not happening in your own. You just can't.

[00:30:37.860] - Ebony Gilbert

Good stuff. Good stuff.

[00:30:39.610] - Carri Adcock

It is good. It is good. So anything else that comes to mind or that you'd like to share?

[00:30:55.620] - Ebony Gilbert

No, just to recap. Grace is important. It's super important. And keeping keeping it a secret doesn't help anybody. Doesn't help anybody. And the truth of the matter is that stuff that we're all embarrassed about and ashamed of, and you think you're the only one in the world who had those thoughts or went through that experience? That's a lie. That's a lie from the enemy. That is not true. Other people have those same things going on. And once you open your mouth, you'll see that there's a whole community of people who needed to hear what you had to say. There's a whole community of people who are ready to encourage you and offer a little grace. So give it, receive it. Let it flow through you. And you don't need the protection, because grace will cover you. That resonated with me. I needed that for today.

[00:31:51.640] - Carri Adcock

I have nothing to add to that. You have nailed it all. And I needed this today.

[00:32:03.820] - Ebony Gilbert

Me too.

[00:32:05.020] - Carri Adcock

Thank you. That's the other thing I love about Grace. I guess I do have something else to say. The thing I love about grace is it truly is always on time.

[00:32:17.410] - Ebony Gilbert

Always. Listen, I'll be honest with you. When I woke up this morning and put my feet on the ground and started going about the day, every hour that passed, I tried to convince myself of 1001 reasons not to do this today. Oh, it's too hard. Oh, I'm feeling too vulnerable. Oh, this, oh that. There's always tomorrow. And the small voice said, do it anyway. And even in this moment, Grace showed up.

[00:32:46.940] - Carri Adcock

Yes, it did.

[00:32:49.900] - Ebony Gilbert

Right on time.

[00:32:54.300] - Carri Adcock

Well, thank you, Ebony. It's been a joy, as always.

[00:33:01.900] - Ebony Gilbert

Thank you.

[00:33:03.660] - Carri Adcock

You're welcome. Thank you, Grace.

[00:33:06.120] - Ebony Gilbert

You listeners.

[00:33:07.300] - Carri Adcock

Yeah. Thank you, guys. And we look forward to speaking him with you next time.

[00:33:14.020] - Ebony Gilbert

Sure. Grace out.

[00:33:16.260] - Carri Adcock

Grace out. Bye.