06 - Does Grace Sneak Up on You?

Narrator  00:02

Welcome to Grace Among Us, the podcast where we unearth the many faces and places of grace and share stories of the power of grace in our human lives. Our desire is that this will inspire you to see grace in your own life and share it with others.

Carri Adcock  00:20

Hey, my name is Carri Adcock. I'm a mentor with a passion for showing high achievers how to make space and enjoy the ride so that they can make the impact that their heart desires with their life back. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  00:34

My name is Ebony Gilbert. I am partnering with Carri to discuss grace and how it impacts our lives and how possibly it can provide you with some encouragement. By day, I am part of the corporate America game and I work in the healthcare industry. And in my spare time, I get to hang out with Carri and discuss how awesome and beautiful grace is. 

Carri Adcock  00:57

And I also definitely enjoy spending time with my dear friend Ebony talking about grace.

Ebony C. Gilbert  01:10

I always feel like when we do the intro I'm supposed to say, "I enjoy long walks in the beach and dinners on the pier."

Carri Adcock  01:17

"My favorite food is...  Come, get to know me."

Ebony C. Gilbert  01:26

"Come on. Take a walk with me."

Carri Adcock  01:28

Yeah. Well, I'm excited to see what shows up today.

Ebony C. Gilbert  01:34

Me, too. Me, too, because unlike some of the other sessions we've had, we don't really have a very defined path for this one. So we're going to see what happens. And I'm pretty excited about that.

Carri Adcock  01:51

Absolutely. Grace will fill the space.

Ebony C. Gilbert  01:55

Yeah, grace is in the gray.

Carri Adcock  01:57

There you go. There you go. Ta-daa! All right.

Ebony C. Gilbert  02:01

It sounded much better in my head, Carri.

Carri Adcock  02:07

All right, we do have a question. So I'm going to ask it because you gave me the space to do it. Ebony, does grace ever sneak up on you? 

Ebony C. Gilbert  02:21

Meaning unexpected? 

Carri Adcock  02:24

Sure, yes.

Ebony C. Gilbert  02:29

Let me think about this. And I'm going to talk through my thoughts as I'm processing it. I'd like to think that I am super humble, and that I'm not entitled in life and that I don't just expect good things to happen to me. But that's not true. Carri, the truth of the matter is I expect good. I expect blessings. I expect favor and grace because I know who provides it. And I know my father is a constant in my life that he's not going to abandon or forsake me. Now, the flipside is: my imagination as wild and crazy as it is, isn't big enough to wrap around God's grace. So grace itself? I don't know if it sneaks up on me, but the way it shows up sneaks up on me. This is a terrible example, but it's coming to mind so I'm going to say it. I ordered an Uber to get to the airport last week. I got the economy one, the cheapest one, because it's a 25-minute ride; I didn't need anything fancy. The guy showed up in a luxury all-black vehicle. So I was expecting a vehicle with four tires, and some air conditioning. I received a luxury premium vehicle and the guy came to the door to get my bags. So the expectation was there, it showed up, it showed up so much bigger than what I expected, it showed up at a much higher value point than what I was putting into it. Now, obviously, grace is not an Uber car. But if I had to use the metaphor, I think there are times when how good it is the premium, the premier VIP service that it provides, that sneaks up on me often. Often, because I've got this small container that I'm trying to fit my blessing and my grace into because that's what I think I deserve. And then boom, God blows my mind and something else shows up. That's what's coming to mind right now, but I'm going to think about it some more while you give me your answer because it's really an interesting question.

Carri Adcock  04:56

It is. It is. What you were saying about...grace is bigger. It's like I have an expectation, and based on my past, based on who I am, based on my experience, that's how I draw the image of what that expectation is. And grace is like: "Oh, you know..." God's like: "Oh, no. Uh-uh. Watch this. Watch how this happens." I have a friend who says, "I bring a thimble, and God asks me to back up the dump truck.

Ebony C. Gilbert  05:34

Right! Right!

Carri Adcock  05:40

It's like, me, myself, and I here in this world is so limited. My ideas are limited. My pictures or images are limited. And there's nothing wrong with that; it's part of being human. But there is something bigger and I love your interpretation of the question of "How does it sneak up on you?" The other way, or another way that I heard the question is--well, it's in line with what you're saying--but it's often I don't see the grace. I don't see it until after. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  06:31

Hmm. 

Carri Adcock  06:32

Like, I don't always see it in the midst, especially if it's something that's near and dear to my heart. I'm a very, when I'm in my humanness, I'm very linear. I want to see all the steps, I want to see all the results, and when a result comes that I don't like, I can get very black and white. I'm like, "Oh, my goodness, my life is over." I mean, I'm being a little dramatic. But, "Oh, my goodness, it didn't go the way that I envisioned, so something's wrong, I'm wrong, or I'm being punished in some way."

Ebony C. Gilbert  07:13

Because you're seeing it in a linear fashion--black and white--and back to my cheesy statement at the beginning: Grace is in the gray.

Carri Adcock  07:19

Exactly! see? Absolutely, absolutely. I have these experiences in life where I'm being given what I need, and often it doesn't totally agree with what I want in that moment. But if I look at it over the long term, it's always better. It's always the premium Uber, but I can't see it in the moment. Later, as I look back, it's like, "Oh, it snuck up on me this whole time." Right? There was another plan. There were things happening that are so far out of my purview and I have to remember that, especially when I'm in a painful situation. One of the greatest questions I have in my toolbox when I have a disappointment is: "How can I be grateful for this?" And for me, that kind of opens the door, it's like opening the back door to grace.

Ebony C. Gilbert  08:49

Do you always have an answer for that?

Carri Adcock  08:53

Not immediately, no. No. However, what I found is that it's like a muscle and if I'm willing to find something, it helps tremendously. I've also found that I don't have to be grateful for the situation. I have to find some mustard seed in the situation that I can be grateful for.

Ebony C. Gilbert  09:29

That's good. Yeah, slightly different interpretation of the question, but I love it. I like it a lot. Something that came to mind, a couple of things came to mind while you were talking. The first thing is directly related to the last thing you said about the question you ask yourself. I usually ask myself: "How is this going to work together for my good?" Because I firmly believe all things work together for my good because I love and I'm called to forming his purpose. I believe that, and it's hard in the moment to see that. It's really, really, really hard. So that's usually the question I asked , and sometimes it's not a question. Sometimes it's a statement: "This will work together for my good." Somehow, some way, at some point, this will come together. I can't see it, I can't feel it, but I have to believe that. So that's the first thing that came to mind. The second thing that came to mind was, I'm focused on the premium Uber. I think grace sneaks up on me in the small ways, because it's not reserved for just the big monumental moments. It's the little stuff. I was totally convinced that this wasn't going to happen and I was going to run out of gas until blah, blah, blah... Insert whatever scenario you want, something that you know is just going to happen. And then for whatever reason it doesn't, or doesn't go the way you thought it was going to go, and it works to your advantage. And I think those things happen often and I just discount them as luck. What's luck? What is that? Or coincidence...and what is that? These words that have very interesting "meanings." But the whole time it was really great showing up and I didn't see it. I wasn't expecting it, because I thought that situation was too small to even include such a great concept. Grace. When grace shows up in the black and white, it's sneaking up on me because I'm expecting it in the gray, i'm expecting it in the big, I'm expecting it in the ways that I'm praying for. The stuff I don't pray about, the stuff that's kind of on autopilot, the things that I think I have figured out...when it shows up there, that's when it's sneaky to me. "Oh, this is good. I wasn't expecting this! Thank you." Those are the sneaky moments, now that I'm thinking about it a little bit more. But I totally agree with you, as well. In hindsight, it was there and I didn't even know it was there the whole time.

Carri Adcock  12:15

Absolutely. Hindsight is 20/20, right? I love that, in the small stuff. I like the term "ankle biters," because grace plays there, too. And I also love words; words are very powerful. So, I love that you said when we call it "luck," when we call it "coincidence," or I also hear "random," right? There is this world; everything is in perfect order.

Ebony C. Gilbert  12:57

Absolutely. Absolutely. You said "ankle biters." I used to hike a lot. And I'd have all my gear and I'd be worried about snakes and the big dangerous animals. The truth of the matter is the ankle biters, the ticks, the fleas, the mosquitoes will drive you insane before a bear or a snake will ever drive you insane. The ankle biters, those little things that you really don't pay a lot of attention to, those are the things that could really make or break a day, you know? 

Carri Adcock  13:36

Yeah. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  13:37

So, when grace shows up there, that's when I need it most. Because the truth of the matter is: Monday through Friday, I don't have too many catastrophic events happening on my calendar. It's the days when everything is a little bit off, or there's the nagging stuff repeatedly. Nothing big, nothing big blew up. It's the little stuff. So, grace showing up in the little stuff? That's really the gift.

Carri Adcock  14:07

Absolutely. And that's the work. For me, that's the work, the ankle biters, the day-to-day. How do I be present? How do I be present to all the grace that is here all the time? Because like you said, when there's something catastrophic, it's almost like I put my armor on. Everything else falls away, because it's so big. I become present to this crisis because it's a crisis. But then all the other stuff, it's like, "Well, I can just go through the motions here. I know how to do this. I've done it 50 times, right?

Ebony C. Gilbert  14:51

Autopilot.

Carri Adcock  14:52

I've done it 100 times. Autopilot! And that's where I miss all the cool stuff. Because I can go through the motions Monday through Friday. Monday through Sunday, really.

Ebony C. Gilbert  15:08

So how do you disrupt the autopilot?

Carri Adcock  15:15

I be curious, as much as I can. The first step in disrupting the autopilot is accepting that there is an autopilot and paying attention. I had a suggestion a long time ago...I hated doing dishes. I just didn't like it. I didn't like anything about it...

Ebony C. Gilbert  15:42

Do you like it now?

Carri Adcock  15:44

I do.

Ebony C. Gilbert  15:45

You like washing dishes?

Carri Adcock  15:46

I like washing dishes. Now, do I want to become a professional dishwasher? Heck no! Do I want to do more dishes than I currently do? Not really, unless I'm having a dinner party. However, it's a practice for me to turn on the warm water, to pay attention to the smell of the soap--I have soap that I liked the smell of--and to just pay attention to the dishes.

Ebony C. Gilbert  16:14

What's your favorite dish soap?

Carri Adcock  16:16

Well, I'm a purist. I don't know if this is purist: I like plain ol' Dawn. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  16:23

Blue Dawn. 

Carri Adcock  16:24

Blue Dawn! Yes! It works well. It cuts the grease. Okay, Dawn. And I have this really nice lemon lavender hand soap that I use after to kind of finish off my sweet little hands that are washing dishes. And I think you can choose anything. Any activity that you do, extra credit, any activity you do with angst...go be present to it!

Ebony C. Gilbert  17:00

See how grace shows up?

Carri Adcock  17:08

Mm-hmm. I will say a little bit more about the dishes because I've been practicing this for a while. Some of the--I don't think this is a word--the funnest, some of the most fun ideas come when I'm washing the dishes these days. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  17:33

Hmm. 

Carri Adcock  17:35

Like some people talk about shower moments, you're in the shower, you're only focusing...I mean, you've kind of got to focus on what you're doing. You don't have to, but it's natural, you've got warm water, and you get a download or an idea or something like that. You can use all activities, all kinds of activities to be open to what's bigger than you.

Ebony C. Gilbert  18:01

I agree. I agree. But, to your point, you have to practice it. That's not an automatic thing.

Carri Adcock  18:11

No, it's absolutely not.

Ebony C. Gilbert  18:16

I'm going to wash dishes tonight because I, too, use blue Dawn, okay?

Carri Adcock  18:20

Oh, I look forward to it. And you sparked the idea, the question came of: "Why do I love Dawn? Why do I like that smell?" What I can remember is being at my grandmother's house and she would put Dawn and water in a pie plate and I had a bubble, a big round plastic thing, and I would dip it in and I would make these giant bubbles. We always used Dawn.

Ebony C. Gilbert  18:20

That's it. A total purist. The smell of it, I like the smell of it. It relaxes me instantly. That's a whole different story. But when I wash dishes tonight, I'm going to be very present. And I'm going to try to enjoy the moment, I'm going to download what I can and I'll get back with you and tell you how that goes.

Carri Adcock  18:20

Nice.

Ebony C. Gilbert  19:18

Listen, we used Dawn for everything. You remember those slip-and-slides, the big yellow things that you put the yard? And you run---and it's like, totally dangerous--but you just run and slide? If you put a little bit of Dawn on it, man, you get traction like nobody's business. It's good stuff.

Carri Adcock  19:40

That is a hot tip. I did not...we were not that ahead of the game on the slipandslide. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  19:49

You got bubbles and suds on you for hours because that stuff doesn't just rinse off easily. Good stuff, good stuff. Grace is in the Dawn, I tell you, man.

Carri Adcock  20:03

So, this is this is an example of grace sneaking up on us. Ebony, I've known you for a little while, right? Not for a long while, but I've known you. And even in this conversation, it's like the grace of...even more connection. Yes, just like me, just like me, Ebony likes to use Dawn. Just like me, she played on slip-and-slides--at a higher level than me, and that's okay. Just like me. Grace is this great connector, too. I mean, we are all connected. And if I don't slow down my humanness, or I don't even know what it is, it just wants to tell me that I am my own little entity walking around this world and it's kind of lonely.

Ebony C. Gilbert  21:10

Absolutely. I mean, I think that's kind of what we're trying to do here is provide some synergy around...you're not that different, just like me. Just like you, we need this. Listen, I have never been so excited to hear somebody say they use Dawn. Because I know what it means to me. When I left Florida and I moved to Tennessee, the job I left got me a box of Dawn. It was kind of the running joke because they knew how much I liked it. Dawn's a pretty big deal in my...Okay, Dawn, you hear us? Dawn, you hear us? But just how cool is that? Because all these years, I was thinking I'm a weirdo. And we're getting some synergy around something as simple and meaningless, seemingly meaningless, as Dawn to paint a picture for how you disrupt the autopilot, how you really can be present doing just about anything and be triggered in that moment to action, to thought, to be disruptive of that. That auto black-and-white space. So, very cool. Very cool.

Carri Adcock  22:24

I love it. Absolutely. This world is so big. It's so vast. It's so like you said, when I asked the question, "Can I be grateful for this?" You say, "How can this all come together for my good?" Is that it? 

Ebony C. Gilbert  22:50

Mm-hmm.

Carri Adcock  22:50

Yeah. You know, God uses everything. Every single thing.

Ebony C. Gilbert  23:01

Absolutely. Sometimes it helps me to realize that maybe what's going on with me is coming together for somebody else's good, too? That I'm part of a bigger tapestry, you know? And that feels good. That feels good, because even if I can't identify how it's going to help me, I at least want to think that someone else is watching or hearing and they're going to get something out of it. None of us are in our own little cocoon, you know?

Carri Adcock  23:13

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Ebony C. Gilbert  23:34

So, I hope that the grace that flows through me helps to trickle into someone else's bubble, and then trickle to someone else's bubble, and it starts this whole spiral cyclone of grace that's just touching down. Imagine a tornado that's just spinning in the air that touches down on here, and it touches down on there, and it touches here. And it's collecting more momentum as it touches down because it's being fueled by this story, and that story, and Dawn. You know, that's super cool.

Carri Adcock  24:07

It is. It is and that's another image of grace sneaking up on me, or anybody, or grace sneaking up. It's like when you hear: "Hey, I heard you say X, Y and Z...and this is what happened for me." And I can never make that happen. I'm not here with the intention that's what's going to happen. Does that make sense? 

Ebony C. Gilbert  24:43

Mm-hmm.

Carri Adcock  24:43

But it's almost like this little "Oh, here I am. See?" To your point. It's contagious and it's not all about me. Very little to do with me.

Ebony C. Gilbert  25:00

So, it does sneak up. And we can be excited about when it sneaks up, as well as when we're expecting it and it's big.

Carri Adcock  25:09

Yeah, yeah.

Ebony C. Gilbert  25:14

Yeah, that's good. That's good. Any final thoughts on that, Carri?

Carri Adcock  25:24

No, no. Yes. Yes. No, yes. No, I don't know. (laughing) No really. The last thought I have is that when...the question was: "What is my response when I see it sneak up on me?" And, in general, my response is, "Yes! There it is!" Or "Wow, that's cool!" And it's not often followed by action. It's more just appreciation. And I'd love to talk next time, about when grace prompts action.

Ebony C. Gilbert  26:19

Yeah. Yeah. Because they can move you, you know? They can move you. 

Carri Adcock  26:29

Yeah.

Ebony C. Gilbert  26:31

Right there with you. Let's talk about it next time. 

Carri Adcock  26:34

Okay.

Ebony C. Gilbert  26:34

I'm immediately seeing the cyclone, I'm seeing the people-mover in the airport, I'm seeing all these things happening as you're saying that. I'd love to dig more into it. 

Carri Adcock  26:44

Okay. Awesome. Any any last thoughts for you?

Ebony C. Gilbert  26:52

However it shows up, whether it's a surprise or not, I'm pretty happy to see it. The flowers that I'm expecting are just as pretty as the flowers that show up unexpected. As a matter of fact, the unexpected flowers tend to make me a little bit happier because I wasn't even thinking that was coming to me. So however it shows up, I welcome it and I would encourage everyone else to just be open to the idea that it'll knock on your door when you least expect it. And what a gift.

Carri Adcock  27:25

Absolutely.

Ebony C. Gilbert  27:28

What a gift.

Carri Adcock  27:29

What a great way to close today. So, to all out there, thank you so much for listening. Please come listen again. And if you have any questions about grace, or feedback from this podcast, please let us know. 

Ebony C. Gilbert  27:53

Grace out.

Narrator  27:58

Thank you so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode, please let us know. We love to hear from you, and share it with a friend. Also, please be sure to subscribe so you're notified when a new episode is posted. We hope you're leaving with another pointer to grace, a new perspective that will light it up in your own life. Until next time, be well, be bold, be kind to yourself, and be on the lookout.