In today’s episode of the “Grace Among Us” podcast, hosts Ebony Gilbert and Carri Adcock talk about many aspects of grace, and share stories of the power of grace in human lives. They both hope that their stories will inspire listeners to see grace in their own lives and share it with others.
So, if you’ve ever considered grace as being in a box, tune in to hear how we exercise the practice of receiving, extending, and seeing grace in others.
Here’s a glance of the episode:
1. When grace pertains to you in some way, shape, or form, you can see it in others too. When people are having a hard time it's almost like they're able to look at their grace to give themselves a break, and in turn, probably find a break.
2. Carri narrates one of the most painful situations in her life where she couldn't see a way out of it. It was like her whole world was coming down. However, with the guidance of her spiritual mentor, she found something to be grateful for and held on to that, which was her lifeline.
3. Ebony feels privileged to be able to articulate how they've been impacted by grace with each other. She feels incredibly humbled and grateful for this opportunity.
Thank you so much for joining us today. We hope you're leaving with another pointer to Grace, and a new perspective that will light it up in your own life. If you enjoyed this episode, please let us know at community@grace-among-us.com; we would love to hear your questions, suggestions, and/or comments. Don’t forget to share it with a friend. Also, please be sure to subscribe so you're notified when a new episode is posted. Until next time, be well, be blessed, be bold, and be kind to yourself.
In today’s episode of the “Grace Among Us” podcast, hosts Ebony Gilbert and Carri Adcock talk about many aspects of grace, and share stories of the power of grace in human lives. They both hope that their stories will inspire listeners to see grace in their own lives and share it with others.
So, if you’ve ever considered grace as being in a box, tune in to hear how we exercise the practice of receiving, extending, and seeing grace in others.
Here’s a glance of the episode:
1. When grace pertains to you in some way, shape, or form, you can see it in others too. When people are having a hard time it's almost like they're able to look at their grace to give themselves a break, and in turn, probably find a break.
2. Carri narrates one of the most painful situations in her life where she couldn't see a way out of it. It was like her whole world was coming down. However, with the guidance of her spiritual mentor, she found something to be grateful for and held on to that, which was her lifeline.
3. Ebony feels privileged to be able to articulate how they've been impacted by grace with each other. She feels incredibly humbled and grateful for this opportunity.
Thank you so much for joining us today. We hope you're leaving with another pointer to Grace, and a new perspective that will light it up in your own life. If you enjoyed this episode, please let us know at community@grace-among-us.com; we would love to hear your questions, suggestions, and/or comments. Don’t forget to share it with a friend. Also, please be sure to subscribe so you're notified when a new episode is posted. Until next time, be well, be blessed, be bold, and be kind to yourself.
Welcome to Grace Among Us, the podcast where we unearth the many faces and places of grace and share stories of the power of grace in our human lives. Our desire is that this will inspire you to see grace in your own life and share it with others.
Carri Adcock:Hello, and welcome to Grace Among Us, the podcast where we unearth the many faces and places of grace, and share stories of the power of grace in our human lives. Our desire is that this will inspire you to see grace in your own life and share it with others.
Ebony C. Gilbert:My name is Ebony Gilbert and I am partnering with Carri Adcock to present Grace Among Us. By day, I work for corporate America in the healthcare field, as a strategist and coach. And through life experiences, I've become well acquainted with grace and look forward to sharing with you all some of my personal experience, and how it has helped me get from day to day without beating myself up.
Carri Adcock:Thank you, Ebony. My name is Carri Adcock. I'm a mentor with a passion for showing high achievers how to make space and enjoy the ride so that they can impact their heart's desires with their life back. And the bottom line is my purpose is to bear witness to God's grace. We're going to talk all about grace today. So, Ebony, I am going to put you on the spot to start, with a question.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Let's do it.
Carri Adcock:Okay, good. Is it easier to see grace in others, or your own life?
Ebony C. Gilbert:Great question. I think it's easier to see grace in others, as it impacts my own life. When people(others) are showing kindness or unmerited favor towards me (so it's in my life, but it's seeing it in others), that's like a double whammy. That's hitting on all cylinders--I see it, red flags are going off, thunder is roaring in the background.
Carri Adcock:Can you hear that?
Ebony C. Gilbert:I can hear thunder in your background. Are you serious?
Carri Adcock:That's grace! THAT is grace!
Ebony C. Gilbert:I literally heard it right as I said that.
Carri Adcock:It clapped as you said it.
Ebony C. Gilbert:So there it is, folks. There it is. That is the double win. That's the win-win. I can see it crystal clear there.
Carri Adcock:So, can I ask you a question about that?
Ebony C. Gilbert:Sure, sure.
Carri Adcock:Okay. So, what I heard you say is that you see grace in others when it applies to your own life?
Ebony C. Gilbert:Mm-hmm.
Carri Adcock:And can you give me an example of that double whammy that you just said?
Ebony C. Gilbert:Yes, sure. I'll give you an example. I recently went through a pretty challenging health situation. And I was not the best patient. Go figure. And there were times when I wasn't compliant. And I wasn't at my best. And the staff that showed me grace, when they could have just said, "Get up" or "I'm not going to bother to force you to do something, even though it's for your own good, if you want to be stubborn." Their level of encouragement, their level of patience, during my long suffering, they were long-suffering with my temperament. I could see them showing grace to me in my situation, but it required them to walk in the path of grace. So I could see the God in them being extended to me in my time of need, so that would be an example, the quickest one that comes to mind and when I can see it in others as it pertains to my situation. I can see it, Carri, in others if I'm looking for it. It's easy to see when you're looking for it. But those are the times when the thunder in the background starts to roar.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely, absolutely. I hadn't really thought of it that way as the reflection of grace as it's coming towards me because, hey, I'm pretty self centered. I mean, left to my own devices...
Ebony C. Gilbert:Aren't we all?
Carri Adcock:...this whole life is all about me. Right? So it makes perfect sense that when that grace pertains to me in some way, shape, or form, then I can see it. I can see it in others. And it also it gave me this image of there you were not being compliant, probably not feeling really good, not wanting to do what they told you. Grace is like putting on a pair of glasses. And they're not seeing you as this complaining, stubborn, I-don't-want-to-do-what-you're-telling-me person. They put on the glasses of grace, and they see: "Hey, she's probably not having a real good day, so I don't need to be like, 'Get up.'" Right? I can say it in a lot of different ways.
Ebony C. Gilbert:They're looking beyond my flaws and my faults in that moment. And I am immediately humbled. And it's so much more effective than them saying, "Just get up."
Carri Adcock:Yeah.
Ebony C. Gilbert:You know?
Carri Adcock:Yeah, I do. I do.
Ebony C. Gilbert:You said you didn't think about it in that light. Tell me how you thought about it. Is it easier for you to see it in others, or in your own life?
Carri Adcock:I interpreted that question totally differently, which I love. Because that's why we're here, right? For many reasons. It's so easy to see when others are living with grace, when others are having a really hard time, possibly, yet they're doing it with their head up, they're doing it with grace, with belief that it's going to get better, with belief that they're being taken care of, with belief that's outside of them, that's bigger than them. It's almost like they're able to look at their own life with grace, to give themselves a break. And, in turn, probably give everybody else around a break. When I see people going through something and doing it with grace, it's so easy to see. It's like a beacon; it's contagious. We see it in my own life.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Really?
Carri Adcock:Well, these days, I see it all the time.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Because we're talking about it.
Carri Adcock:Because we're talking about it, because it's always the conversation, because it's a passion. Because it's so much fun. It's so much fun to see grace everywhere. However, it was not always the case. For a long time in my life, I was the victim, or things were happening, being done to me, or I could feel sorry for myself. These days, I still have things that I could go down that parade, but it's not a lot of fun. It's not prosperous. And for me, when I
Ebony C. Gilbert:Right. do that, I essentially am saying, "God, hey, dude, I don't need your help." And that's not true. You said earlier that your purpose, and I don't want to misquote you, is to bear witness to God's grace. Is that what you said?
Carri Adcock:That's what I said. Yeah.
Ebony C. Gilbert:What if God is saying, "Hey, let's start with you."
Carri Adcock:I love that!
Ebony C. Gilbert:Let's witness it in the mirror.
Carri Adcock:That's the best thing I've heard all day, Ebony.
Ebony C. Gilbert:I have a note on my desk that says what my purpose is; a dear friend of mine encouraged me to do that.
And it says:"My purpose is to bring light." So when I have dark moments, even if I'm home alone, because I wrote that with the intent of bringing light to others. When I look at it, it immediately lightens the mood. It lightens the moment, because I have to shine my own light sometimes. And I have to bring light to my own situation. So, I'm not picking on you. That was my own reflective moment I had with myself today.
Carri Adcock:I'll tell you what, you are not picking on me. Yes! Begin within.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Yeah.
Carri Adcock:Light bearer.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Grace witnesser.
Carri Adcock:Oh my goodness.
Ebony C. Gilbert:So, I guess when when we see it, whether it's in others or ourselves, what's what's an acceptable reaction to that? How do you greet it when it shows up? Is
it:"Oh, boy, I'm convicted." And there's the thunder again. I hear it! I hear it! I'm just wondering, how do you react in those moments?
Carri Adcock:Well, I have to be honest to start with. The word"acceptable" kind of tightens me up.
Ebony C. Gilbert:It's like"normal," right?
Carri Adcock:Yeah, that's a setting on the washing machine. That's about it.
Ebony C. Gilbert:It doesn't apply to people.
Carri Adcock:No, not this people. So, a greeting or reaction when grace shows up these days, to be honest, is,"Yes! Yes, more of that, please, more of that." Or, if I see it in another, I don't know if they see it or not, but I'm going to call it out. Because it totally is contagious.
Ebony C. Gilbert:I agree. I agree. For me, it almost feels like an internal itch sometimes. I've got to say something. I've got to do something. I've got to move. It's like hearing your favorite song in the grocery store and you get excited!
Carri Adcock:Yes, yes.
Ebony C. Gilbert: You're like:"I know this! I know what this
is." It's turned into:"I've got to move. I've got to move, I've got to talk, I've got to say it." So, I totally relate to what you're saying. I've got to say something. I've got to call it out. Because I was just fire-stirred. And it's exciting. It's pretty exciting.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely. And what happens when you call it
Ebony C. Gilbert:It never falls flat. out?
Carri Adcock:Amen.
Ebony C. Gilbert:You know, knock on wood, keep living it. But to this day, it has never fallen flat. Even in the moments when I second-guessed myself and thought I shouldn't say anything. I have not received a negative reaction. Actually, it's been the exact opposite. You get a mixture of reactions anywhere from "Well, thank you" to an emotional response of tears, or "I didn't know you noticed," or "I thought I was doing this on my own." It ranges from one into the other, but it's not negative at all.
Carri Adcock:Yeah.
Ebony C. Gilbert:And then it gives you a little bit more fuel to feel confident the next time.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely. Absolutely. That's awesome. As you were saying that two things came up. One is "What happened when the thunder happened?" You're like "[singing] Ahhh!" You can't help yourself. The other piece was this image of...it doesn't matter that right now we're on screens talking to each other, right? It doesn't matter if we're on screens, it doesn't matter if we're standing next to each other. There's this invisible connection between my heart and your heart, and when I acknowledge it, it's like plucking that string.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Yeah. And it's musical.
Carri Adcock:Yeah.
Ebony C. Gilbert:It's like a melody. It's soul real. It's an entire experience for me, Carri.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely. And I'm going to bet--I'm not a betting woman--but I'm going to bet there are people hearing this right now that can feel that in their own hearts right in this moment.
Ebony C. Gilbert:I feel it.
Carri Adcock:I do, too.
Ebony C. Gilbert:That's good. That's good. That's good. Something you said earlier, the way I heard it: "Victim."
Carri Adcock:Yeah.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Falling into that victim zone. "Why did this happen to me? Why is this happening to me? Woe iss me. Me, me, me, me." And this is certainly not to imply that that's not a justifiable way to feel. There are crappy things that happen in life. And the only "acceptable" response is:"Why?!? Why me?!?" How do you make that transition from
Carri Adcock:"Why now?!?""victim/help me" to "thank you/gratitude"? Let me give a little context for this question. Your comment made me think of it, but I was talking with a friend earlier this week. Yeah. I've grown up saying grace before meals.
Ebony C. Gilbert:And the grace that I learned as a child was
asking for stuff:"Bless my food," "Keep me"...it was more of a request. Not a bad thing, those requests. Now at this point, and this has a whole new meaning for me because I don't have a stomach, eating takes on a whole new face and experience.
Now the grace is:"Thank you for this moment, for the opportunity to have a meal..." There is so much gratitude in the moment that it has replaced the "Help me" and "Bless me," because I identify that moment as already being blessed just by virtue of being able to sit there in front of some food. So, I'm combining two things here; I'm combining your comment about "victim" because I've been there. I was there yesterday, I go there admittedly often,
Carri Adcock:I walk around that block here and there.
Ebony C. Gilbert:It's a good neighbor of mine. I'm combining that with where I've noticed in my life, there's been this transition from "help me, bless me, fix me, get me..." which are still pretty pertinent requests at certain times. But it's shifted to "I'm so grateful. Thank you so much."
Carri Adcock:Yes, so the answer I had, you've already blown it out into "How do I move from victim to grace?" Right, to see grace in the situation?
Ebony C. Gilbert:Victim to victorious.
Carri Adcock:I love that. I love that. It's the most powerful question I have in my toolbox, and it has been for a while. "How can I be grateful for this?" I mean, that's it. I had one of the most painful situations in my life. I just couldn't see my way out of it; I couldn't see how I was going to keep going. I could not see it. It was like my whole world was coming down. And I called my spiritual mentor at the time. I said, "I don't know what to do." She said, "Can you be grateful for this?" And I said, "F no."
Ebony C. Gilbert:Right.
Carri Adcock:She said, "Well, you'd better find a way." It took me, by God's grace, I knew that she had told me things prior that worked. I could not get my head around what she was asking me to do, but I knew enough that she had been right before. It took me two days to find one thing, the tiniest thing, to be grateful for, and I held on to that like it was my lifeline. Maybe we'll talk about it on an episode because it's a lot longer story, but the the long and the short is that it was three years later that I saw the power in what happened by shifting my attention to what I was grateful for in the situation.
Ebony C. Gilbert:You had that mustard seed.
Carri Adcock:Oh yeah, yeah. And I mean, what God did with it, it still...I got goosebumps. It's exactly what you're saying, going from "help me" to "thank you." Growing up, I had a lot of different illnesses, which is a whole other story. I learned to, in the process, I started just saying, "Lord, thank you for my strong, healthy, vibrant body," whether I had one or not. And here I am. I haven't been sick in a long, long time.
Ebony C. Gilbert:There's so much power in what you just said. And it's difficult. It's not easy. You said it took you two days to come up with something. I think that's pretty phenomenal. I think it would take me much longer; it has taken much longer.
Carri Adcock:Ebony, my ass was on fire. Don't think I'm all that great.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Two days? Wow! Wow! And you held on to it for three years. It didn't materialize the next weekend.
Carri Adcock:And that's part of grace, too. It's got no timeline. Grace does not work on human time. It's so much bigger.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Mm-hmm. I want to start practicing just...I'm going to make a list of all the things that are not the way I want them to be in one column, and in the next column I'm going to write the counter statement. In the column on the left, it will say, "My health is not great." In the column on the right, it will say, "I am whole and prosperous, and free of pain daily."
Carri Adcock:I love it.
Ebony C. Gilbert:And I want to see how this works. We're going to do a little experiment, because I believe you. And I've played with it anecdotally, but I'm going to put it in writing. We're going to see what's going to happen; I'm going to report back in.
Carri Adcock:I love it, I'm going to hold you to it.
Ebony C. Gilbert:And I'm going to challenge anyone who's listening to make your own list. Let's turn some of that "help me, victim me, this isn't good"...which is real; I don't want to invalidate or minimize the reality that life is hard. That's not the intent here.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely.
Ebony C. Gilbert:I want to magnify the power of your words and your heart when you commit to something being better. So, I'm going to do this.
Carri Adcock:I love it. I love it. That's the challenge. And may I speak about that?
Ebony C. Gilbert:Absolutely. Please.
Carri Adcock:Make the list. And for those who are listening, if you're overwhelmed by the list, pick one. Start with one. Just start with one. And yeah, I want to hear how it goes for other people, too. All right, we're going to check back in in a couple of weeks, Ebony, and talk about that.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Absolutely.
Carri Adcock:I'm going to pick one, too, because I am not immune. I've got some others. I love it. Wow, Ebony, the thunder has stopped, and we have spoken to each other for about 30 minutes. Oh, there's the thunder.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Hey, it brought us in, it's gonna close us out.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely. Absolutely. So is there anything you want to say to close this out?
Ebony C. Gilbert:I do,just very, very briefly. It is such a privilege to be able to articulate how we've been impacted by grace with each other. The icing on the cake is to be able to do it to a broader audience. I feel so incredibly humbled and grateful for this opportunity and my hope, my prayer is that one person on a good day, maybe more than one, but at least one person walks away feeling a little bit more encouraged. Feeling a little less lonely. And understanding that there is hope. And if it has to show up as a mustard seed, that's okay.
Carri Adcock:Absolutely. I love it. I love it. Ebony, thank you so much for being willing to have these conversations. This is ultimate joy. And I agree with you: just one, just one. And if there's more, great. And to anyone who's listening: We'd love to hear from you.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Absolutely.
Carri Adcock:Any question. All questions are on the table. All comments are welcome. And this has been fun.
Ebony C. Gilbert:It has. I knew it would be, but it's so much better in real life, you know?
Carri Adcock:Absolutely. Absolutely.
Ebony C. Gilbert:Let's do it again.
Carri Adcock:Okay, we'll see you next time.
Ebony C. Gilbert:All right.
Narrator:Thank you so much for joining us. If you enjoyed this episode, please let us know. We'd love to hear from you, and share it with a friend. Also, please be sure to subscribe so you're notified when a new episode is posted. We hope you're leaving with another pointer to grace, a new perspective that will light it up in your own life. Until next time, be well, be bold, be kind to yourself, and be on the lookout.